Doodling

Love how blogger updates new layout templates that makes your blog looks hipster even though its not. I thought my course would look hipster too Yep that was what I had in mind when I was choosing my course, one of the most important choices in life, at least what many Asian parents and aunty uncles would say. I wanted something different than all other graduating classmates who were all taking medicine, medicine and medicine. I was torn apart on whether to follow the typical kiasu spirit of mine to choose a stable, high earning job like many were or to do something different. I told myself I would not be the former so I was deciding between clinical psych or speech pathology. Yet at times, when I see people wearing that sparkly white coat, saying how their clinical experiences were, along with mum teasing about how easy the requirements were for the courses I have chosen, I would think if I should aim higher or not 'waste' my results. But I shook off all the doubts and wen...

How is it that you are so busy with something that the whole world moves without you? What an irony that I want to 'slow my footsteps' but find myself unable to catch up when I'm done. Okay enough with the aimless thoughts. Well firstly YAY Alevels is over! Notice I did not exaggerate my sentence because I can't believe its over. It just went so fast that it flew past me and now its gone. I don't feel super liberated or very free-from-cage  mainly because I think I did not work hard as what was deserved, basically I did not give my best to my final exams, (in fact really unprepared :/) But I'm not very into the regretful mood either (most probably would cry only when I get my result). Would just sum my condition now as very glad that I am able to rest :) When I was in my study break, I craved to do everything, when I said everything, it really meant EVERYTHINGGG. I wanted to watch every single movie, bake every single recipe that I saw in facebook, meet up...

Such a waste of time I would say, sitting in the train or worst cramming like sardines in the lrt for 30 minutes just wasn't what I would look forward to. The journey was one of biggest downside of going to mckl such faraway land where it takes almost an hour to reach there. I started getting used to the public transport. I know which coach to go to and has the least people. I know which end is the stairs the nearest to the train. I know which hour will be the craziest sardine pack and I know which station I can get a seat. Like this hour, after 6'30 in the morning you'll get a least probability to have a seat. Seeing the usual queue I went to wait at the reverse direction to the other terminal of the lrt. The lrt came empty as usual and I picked the last seat and made myself comfortable. It was a longer ride after all. Daydreamed for a moment before I took out my book and started reading. As the train arrive at the terminal I was waiting for the people of Gombak to come i...

Even looking at my post 9 months ago seems like I was still fifteen haha, it just felt like it was before everything. I know I will feel that all the time because I'm changing, changing to a better me I hope, and I'm glad of the change. It was tough nevertheless, this 9 months was fast but tough. Dare not say real tough because I'm pretty sure I need to leave that for some other things coming on in the future. Well it kind of scares me. The future. When I see how stressful and tough life gets, I'm afraid of the future. It won't get any better, would it? It would just get tougher and tougher leaving you gasping for air all the time. But I guess this is what life is meant to be, you just have to move forward and there will be no turning back. Even if there seems to be nothing in front, even if you do not know where the next step is, even if you don't know if you can take the next step. But this, showed me the frailty of mankind, our own strength is so limited, we ...

I failed. Failed miserably. Haha I planned to write this post way earlier after RBS but I failed. Now I've even started college. :O There's too much to write. So much that I don't even know where to start. Phew, RBS. It has been enriching and fulfilling. I wouldn't say it was a fun one really cos I can't really remember myself being really happy instead I find myself being sad and lonely lots of time actually. But yeah though all the down times, I've learned so much. So much about God and so much about myself, and about others too. I learn to see myself less and to look at others more. To ask God to help me see others with love, to help me look at his world how he would see them and break my heart of what breaks His. Also opened up my eyes through many things, and found lots of friendships to treasure :) It was thus a great experience Andddddd...college. Its only 2 days of college and i feel so stressed out already. There's so much to do by yourself, t...

It's the time of the year!!!! for the last bits of selfies and status updates before 2015 kicks in and here am I writing the last post for the year again haha. So a little recap of 2014. Year of kiasunesss and books and books. Year of wefiess and ultimate vainness . Year of new experiences. Year of parting and saying goodbye. Year of family gatherings and holidays! So it's quite a year I guess. And I'm glad it was. I'm glad of how it is and how every part of it has made me, me today. Am thankful for people I met, people I love, people who are kind to me and people who are not. Thank God that he has been with me all the times and I'll know he will still be by my side for years to come. Now to step into the new year which is full of new things and endless possibilities, here's to a great year of 2015 ahead!

Was looking through the old posts I wrote few years ago and I was laughing and feeling embarrased the same time. Saw the old me through the posts and I guess that's what puberty did to me lol. But I also saw how I've lost the interest to write so often again I guess its half because of the trends of time where writing blogs isn't popular anymore but I still enjoying reading blogs though. I guess few years back when blogspots was still the trend, I wrote because to make myself popular err I guess just among my friends and it was a major failure obviously because it feels more like I'm 'tweeting' random stuffss like in social networks. Those times I cared about views and comments but now I kinda feel more comfortable with less people reading my blog cos anyone can read it and anyone can judge. I feel more like writing to myself than to people haha And the other half might be just because there's too much things on the internet that's seems more exciting...

I guess as SPM ends this gives me no more excuse to not update my blog anymore haha have been writing drafts on and off but never complete them, now its too late :/ Finishing the last paper marks the end of school life, which also means I'm no longer a school student anymore. Thinking of it, I feel old lol but yeah, not being in school means not a kid which kinda makes me feel excited but a little worried at the same time. I guess its because I enjoyed being young and with all the privileges I could get. Finishing school life also means future. Education doesn't get planned up for you anymore. I still can't decide what am I interested in and what I want to be. Even it's only the first day after SPM I get a little stressed up looking at college universities and  further studies  adverts. Though I still have some time but yeah I'm kinda worried I won't make my best decision. Leaving school also means leaving my friends. I'm not a 'love my friends ti...

Ever had to do something but you know in your heart that if you do it you can't get what you want but you have to do it because its right You can choose not to do it  but you are obliged to do it but the moment you choose to do it you'll know you are throwing away your hope of getting what you want and it happens every time, all the time! until you really don't feel like doing it anymore and just please yourself, getting what you want *sigh*

its already the second week of 2014 and I only started my first post but that shows how busy I am lol YES, I'm quite busy now especially with homework start stacking higher and higher even when school have just started although there's not much time for leisure anymore but I enjoy the packed lifestyle maybe because I've been rotting at home for too long that's why I enjoy being busy haha ok too much crap I still want to do my new year resolutions haha you might think its quite late but there's no deadline right? but first I would like to conclude what I've been doing/acheived in 2013: 1. Bought and learn the ukulele! Yay!  Progress : Kind of stuck at the same level but still trying to learn more! 2. Learnt that I must be more responsible to gain trust sounds familiar huh? recall the moral nilais haha 3. Experienced loads of new experience Exp: Archery, Hiking, Abseiling etc 4. and luxury Exp: Winter warmers, IMAX, Starbucks(Yep, I'...

So here is the long awaited bangkok post! YAY *cheers* I just came back from youth camp the day before the trip so it was HECTIC Bangkok, we're coming! First lunch Paige addicted to the phone Most of their drinks are sold in bottles, cool huh? The hotel Galleria 10 was small but really beautiful :)  To keep this post short (coz I dont feel like writing much:( I'll just write about all the special experiences :) Because we went as 14 person in a family, we hired a big van to drive us around (and its driver of course) MyUncles and Aunts had already said way before the trip temples are NO NO haha actually its because we're bringing kids so walking much in temples would not be the best choice ACTUALLY ITS JUST BECAUSE WE WANT MORE TIME TO GO FOR SHOPPING that's just all excuses haha oh, so back to the topic the first "tourist spot" we went was Terminal 21 it's a shopping mall but I TELL YOU its not really different with othe...