Blurred
Even looking at my post 9 months ago seems like I was still fifteen haha, it just felt like it was before everything. I know I will feel that all the time because I'm changing, changing to a better me I hope, and I'm glad of the change. It was tough nevertheless, this 9 months was fast but tough. Dare not say real tough because I'm pretty sure I need to leave that for some other things coming on in the future. Well it kind of scares me. The future. When I see how stressful and tough life gets, I'm afraid of the future. It won't get any better, would it? It would just get tougher and tougher leaving you gasping for air all the time. But I guess this is what life is meant to be, you just have to move forward and there will be no turning back. Even if there seems to be nothing in front, even if you do not know where the next step is, even if you don't know if you can take the next step. But this, showed me the frailty of mankind, our own strength is so limited, we can't control anything. And this showed me how dependency is. How we can only cling on to the only unchanging One. When you are gasping for air, reaching out for help, how comforting is it to know that there will be a hand to hold you, to tell you to keep going. Well, it is not always tangible but at least you know there's light, even its blur.
Well, I don't want to write a motivational "keep calm and go on" post and forget the not-so-pleasant part. Sometimes again, we get too optimistic for hope that we forget the price. The cost is painful, and most often what we would avoid, but we're only cheating ourselves that its okay, a little will be enough. Again, stepping out of the comfort zone is the hardest but best way to learn. Once you are out of it, you won't get back to that small circle, but you have now another bigger circle to get out, the circles might never end, but at least there's growth. I find myself stepping these circles and seeing the process of change is what that tells me that it's the wondrous work of the Maker of moulding me into who I am suppose to be. So, though I'm still extremely scared, but I wont back out, just need to lift my head up and no, not smile, but to look up to Him and say, 'I'll follow you'.
I guess it still points to a motivational post kinda thing right? It's okay, heh ;)
Well, I don't want to write a motivational "keep calm and go on" post and forget the not-so-pleasant part. Sometimes again, we get too optimistic for hope that we forget the price. The cost is painful, and most often what we would avoid, but we're only cheating ourselves that its okay, a little will be enough. Again, stepping out of the comfort zone is the hardest but best way to learn. Once you are out of it, you won't get back to that small circle, but you have now another bigger circle to get out, the circles might never end, but at least there's growth. I find myself stepping these circles and seeing the process of change is what that tells me that it's the wondrous work of the Maker of moulding me into who I am suppose to be. So, though I'm still extremely scared, but I wont back out, just need to lift my head up and no, not smile, but to look up to Him and say, 'I'll follow you'.
I guess it still points to a motivational post kinda thing right? It's okay, heh ;)
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